What Are The Kids Thinking?

Dear Adults,

At a recent meeting we were asked to list what we need from you in our lives during this time of grief.  This is what we feel would be most helpful.

• Understand that I will talk when I am ready.
• It is OK to talk.
• Hug me more!
• Help me with school.
• When I am angry, leave me alone.
• Let me skip school or practice when I am really upset.
• Stop asking me personal questions.
• Spend time with me.
• Let me play with the animals.
• Let me read.
• Ask my teachers to use the word 'guardian' instead of 'parent' for school assignments.
• Please don't cry as much - it makes me sad too.
• Love me unconditionally.

What Tides children and adolescents say about their grief. Grief is...

• Like a football field. Sometimes you can run forever, other times you just get tackled out of nowhere.
• Like a graph, with ups and downs
• Like getting stabbed in the side
• Crazy!! Good and bad, happy and sad.
• Like a roller coaster-you can feel good or bad at any time.
• The feeling you get when a relative dies
• It makes you feel sadness
• There is an empty space in your house
• It makes your throat feel funny
• Wanting to see your relative again
• Love
• Not wanting to let go
• Crying
• Something you feel when you are sad
• Wanting to be by myself
• Lonely
• Someone hurting

Poem Memorial Day 2007 by Hunter Kephart, age 13.
October 2009.

Woken at midnight
Two preachers and my mom in my grams living room
Everybody was hushed and crying
My mother told me
“Your Father has died tonight from suicide”

I felt my heart stop
All I could think of was all of the great memories with him
I lost one of the closest people in my life time

At the viewing there were a couple hundred people
Close friends, family and people he coached
The one baseball team he coached
Put autographed baseballs in his casket
I remember putting a picture of me and him in there

After all the arrangements were over
I started yelling at my mom and having anger outburst
For something she couldn’t stop from happening
I learned now just to live one day at a time
You never know what life’s going to throw at you
And to remember the great memories
I miss my Dad!